Tuesday, August 14, 2012

THE COWBOY WAY



Cowboy rules for:

Arizona, Texas, Oklahoma, Colorado, New Mexico, Wyoming, Montana, Utah, Nebraska, Idaho, Nevada, and the rest of the Wild West are as follows:

1. Pull your pants up. You look         like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap right, your head         ain't crooked.

3. Let's get this straight: it's         called a 'gravel road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No         matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it         or get out of the way.

4. They are cattle. That's why         they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't         like it? I-10 & I-40 go east and west, I-17 & I-15 goes north         and south. Pick one and go.

5. So you have a $60,000 car.         We're impressed. We have $250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks         a year.

6. Every person in the Wild West         waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the         concept.


7. If that cell phone rings while         a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin' in during a hunt, we         WILL shoot it outta your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to         your ear at the time.

8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon,         deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the         corner bait shop.

9. The 'Opener' refers to the         first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest         Saturday to the first of November.

10. We open doors for women.         That's applied to all women, regardless of age.

11. No, there's no 'vegetarian         special' on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and         pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.

12. When we fill out a table,         there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah ... We don't care what you         folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat... IT AIN'T REAL         CHILI!!

13. You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring 'Mary         Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

15. Yeah, we have golf courses.         But don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.

16. Turn down that blasted car         stereo! That thumpity-thump ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear         it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to         #1!

A true Westerner will send this to at least 10 others and a few new friends that probably won't get it, but we're friendly so we share in hopes you can begin to understand what a real life is all about!!!

And there is more.............

The COWBOY Solution to save Gasoline. OBAMA wants us to cut the amount of gasoline we         use.....

The best way to stop using so much gasoline is to deport 15 million illegal immigrants!

That would be 15 million less people using our gas.
The price of gas would come down.....

Bring our troops home from Afghanistan to guard the borders.....

When they catch an illegal immigrant crossing the Border, hand him a canteen, rifle and some ammo         and ship him to Afghanistan ....

Tell him if he wants to come to AMERICA then he must serve a tour in OUR military....

Give him a soldier's pay while he's there and tax him on it......

After his tour, he will be allowed to become a citizen since he defended this country.....

He will also be registered to be taxed and be a legal resident.....

This option will probably deter illegal immigration and provide a solution for the troops in Afghanistan         and the aliens trying to make a better life for themselves........

If they refuse to serve, ship them to Afghanistan anyway, without the canteen, rifle or ammo.

Problem solved......         

If you think this is a good solution to both the problems, forward it to your friends...........
I did...........

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